Article: We are fed up with...

We are fed up with perfect people! After years of receiving those perfect holiday letters (you know the ones—where all the children are Olympic medalists, attend Julliard, or have just discovered an alternative to fossil fuels), we decided to strike back!

Yes, our lives were boring, but we sent out holidays letters detailing every pathetic aspect of our tedious little lives. People were forced to read about sweeping out the garage floor, removing lint from the dryer, and what we ordered at Applebee's when we ate there in June (Michael had the teriyaki chicken salad; Lauren had the chicken fajitas).

There are plenty of books on how to have the perfect life by having the perfect garden, or by making the perfect scrapbook, or by being the perfect culinary mom. ENOUGH ALREADY! We decided to take our message to the streets, inspiring everyone to do less. Our non-motivational speeches were welcomed by housewives and working moms like manna from heaven as we toured the country encouraging everyone to take naps during the day, use groceries directly from the car (a tip from Erma), and to not clean out a refrigerator until it smells. Slacker wives are us! And if we were more motivated, we'd even muster up feeling really good about ourselves.

Our book is a virtual guidebook to lowering your standards. Such as the chapter about the woman who cleans out her refrigerator every Thursday whether it smells or not. We like a clean house as much as the next woman. We felt bad about this until we learned to lower our standards. And now, for example, when Lisa has company for dinner, she throws a circuit breaker to remove any chance of illumination in her house. She fires up a couple of candles and voila! Dust and dirt are gone!

This strategy for entertaining obviously works better if you entertain during the winter months when it gets dark early. During the winter you also have the advantage that a blizzard might blow into town and your guests will be unable to make it, or possibly even arrive late because of icy roads. But always remember: if you think there's a chance the weather conditions will significantly deteriorate while they're at your house, encourage them not to come as this might require they stay in your guestroom, and then you'd have to move all the Christmas decorations off the bed. You don't want to go to that much work.

Don't forget, you have your afternoon naps to consider.

Copryright © 2008 by Lisa Perry and Lauren Allison